Conscious relationship | Keith's original writings | Keith's wisdom | Love | Spiritual relationship
This blog post is an excerpt from the original writings of Keith Wilson, the Chocolate Shaman, which were first published in 2012. For more recent info on all things Ceremonial Cacao, visit our main blog For the Love of Cacao.
None of us grew up with a map to the Spiritual Relationship, which is, in fact, the only kind of relationship one can have today as we are awakening. So, here is that map.
Know that, right now, you are already in a Spiritual Relationship with lovers, business partners, friends, family, even teachers. You are also truly in a Spiritual Relationship with your health, wealth, and creative expression. You are in the same kind of relationship with a garden, a project, a business - literally, with anything and everything you are engaged with. The Spiritual Relationship is a catchy word for Life. But if I called it Life, you wouldn't be reading this!
The principal purpose of the Spiritual Relationship –whether with your health, your sweetheart, or your business– is to bring to the surface what you have agreed to work on, that will take you to wherever you are going as gently and beautifully as you will allow. So now you know why it hurts so much. Welcome to what you came here for. It's in your face!
If you have been led to believe that it won't hurt if it is really love, you are up for disappointment. If you have been led to think that your partner is supposed to protect you from your pain-body by being nice and never triggering it, think again. Your partner is being asked by you to assist in bringing up what you decided you wanted to work on in this life. And out of a higher love, they will do just that until you have gotten what you went there for. Blame will only energetically initiate circumstances that will manifest a repeat episode. Sorry, but you are the one who decided you wanted to do this work!
Whatever relationship you are in, you are working on your basic intimacy issues with Light and Source - that is, after all, what we are here for. I call it the Deity Drama or Separation Drama. We play it out in areas like health or relationships, to gain experience and understanding through absorbing inside of us a part of the collective density and then healing it as our personal part within the divine plan. First, we get lost in it... and then we awaken and heal it, so it is not carried into the future of us all.
If you really want to know your purpose in life, look into your last fight or last breakup with your sweetheart. That’s when you were in the middle of that purpose, drowning in it, perhaps, but in it nevertheless. Here, I am handing you another rope. But as you may be highly skilled at pushing ropes away, there will be many more. Because you are loved.
Everyone is in a process of releasing their baggage, issues, pain-body, fear, density, resistance, dark shadow, childhood conditioning, stories, etc., etc., etc., chosen before birth. You don’t want to take this kind of ‘stuff’ into an era of more effortless manifestation because it will manifest easily. Have you noticed that this is already happening?
Perhaps, if you knew how a Spiritual Relationship worked –remember, it’s the only kind you can have– how life works would make more sense. So here we go.
#1. It Is Never About Them
It is never about the other person. On a subconscious level, you have asked that person to play this role for you, so you could get access to what you came here to deal with on your journey. And they agreed out of higher love and for their own purposes. You asked; they loved. If you don’t see it, go deeper. And leave the blame at the basement door. Park the judgment with it.
This also holds true with your health, though it is out-of-the-box thinking in consensus reality. If you are having a little dance with a bacteria, virus, or parasite, you have asked it to play that role for you, and you are now in “a cooperative endeavor with another species of consciousness,” to quote Seth from the '70s. Old stuff, yes? So if you attack your cooperative partner, life will give you a second chance with another partner... and louder...
This works the other way, also. If someone is blaming or finding fault with you... and their overreaction to the situation is the biggest key... it has nothing to do with You. And if you are arguing back or defending yourself, you get lost in the mirror. Perhaps it won't work to tell them, "It's your pain-body talking," but if you know it, you can refuse to escalate the drama.
#2. It Is Not About What It’s About
It wouldn’t trigger you so much if there was not something deeper. That is what it’s about. You went there to feel that. If you don’t feel it, you can’t heal it. That’s why you went there. And you will go again… and again… until it is all released. Judging, controlling, blaming, or resisting will only prolong the process. That's OK; take six more lifetimes if you like...
Trying to manage and plan for every contingency in a business will have the same result. Continually attempting to fix the messenger (problem) without using it for why you asked it to be there in the first place won't work. Messages that are not listened to only get louder.
So you won’t solve anything by talking about what it’s about because that’s not what it’s about. It is a gift. It ain’t broke, so ‘fixing’ it, especially through talking, will only dig the hole deeper and feed the pain-body. I know you’ve experienced this repeatedly…
Yes, there are ways to use higher energies to transmute the inner density, shortening drama/pain cycles from weeks to minutes and accelerating things significantly. I have a school for that.
#3. Nothing Changes Until You Do
Reality is feedback, a holographic projection from within. What you see in that mirror will not change by your insistence. It is like looking in a mirror and demanding God lie to you! Good luck with that. Enjoy your visit to the in-your-face holodeck.
Three gold stars if you got that even the planet won't change for the better until you do, in the specific probability you experience as your own personal now. So, right here, you have a short, sweet text on how changing this planet is actually going to happen... or not... by nobody’s choice but yours. Bingo.
#4. Pain Is Resist-dance
Dragging oneself kicking and screaming toward being happy… been there, got the T-shirt. If it hurts, you are fighting the process. There is this part of you that understands you totally, knows just what you need, loves you immensely, and is totally committed to getting you home… call it Higher Self or whatever. You are allowed to not co-operate; continued pain is how you know that’s what you’re doing. Beginning pain follows not listening to the hints to let it go.
So what do you do when you and your partner are loving and growing with each other through either the leapfrog or bumper cars of mutual pain-body triggering? Well, that is exactly what you signed up for and are convinced is wrong. Ah... conditioned judgment...
So what to do? Disengage from the drama. Agree that you each go where you personally need to go to look into what it is really about. Go inside. And drop the stories. You have been telling story after story, and nothing has changed. You know that... so enough.
Come back together when both of you can talk and listen without using the ‘you’ word. “I feel this when I…” Using the ‘you’ word means you haven’t gone deep enough. But you will, one way or another. Either by manifesting the pain and drama outside or feeling it during the journey inside. It’s your choice. For sure, it will be some balance of both, and you are choosing the balance point.
Remember that everyone sees your issues before you do. So what do you do with what you see about the other before it is “up” far enough that the other person sees it? Share it in a time or way that the other cannot receive it? Use it to wound, save it for ammunition until you need it? That’s you making the choice to let your pain-body do the talking. Are you done yet?
Inner density has to go. The Spiritual Relationship is, for most, the number one go-to in this department. An understanding partner in this journey can be spiritual rocket fuel. That’s why your partner is already - right now - there... already loving you exactly as you have asked and really need to change self. That's true love. Only someone who really loves you would play those roles you asked of them.
If you are single, right now, that partner you don’t have is loving you the way you most need by not being there. And you will meet and recognize them when you have fulfilled your part of your present agreement together. You know, the agreement that says let’s not play that out one more time. You will meet the probability of them that has done their part when you have done yours. To get there, you could meet others who would help you with the densities listed in your agreement; though most call it pain instead of seeing it as the best they allowed of exactly what they were truly in need of.
It can be quite an art. Accept. Allow. You don’t have a choice because you already made that choice before you were born. Trust your process.
Others have decided to forgo a full-time relationship until they clean up a good part of that inner density. For many, this is certainly to their highest good and ease!
This lifetime is set up to be more fun and more adventure than we have had in eons. Along the way, there are going to be some symbolic manifestations as we let out the clutch in the new gear we are already in. Have fun. Let go of the fear. Surf the wave or have your face ground into the sand under it; your choice. Either way, the wave will get you there! We go as we allow. Own it.
For me, this is not the place to write a book, offer more explanations, give examples, or demonstrate principles. I do a lot of that on an individual level as a processing intuitive. There, I can play cupid, introducing people to their highest probable partner, with whom they are already hanging on the causal plane, where things are organized energetically before physically manifesting.
I credit A Course in Miracles for teaching me a lot about principle #2, Lazaris for #3, and Oneness for understanding. I am also thankful for the many times my guides needed to repeat #1 to me – I needed it. I suggest repeating it to yourself, emphasizing the 'Never." As for principle #4, on the resist-dance bus, "Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment" (Will Rogers).
If you are interested in understanding more about the energies behind the ways people often 'fall in love,’ head to YouTube for Gregg Braden's video The Seven Essene Mirrors. If you can handle the mullet and the hiking-up of the pants, he's great. Also, check out Matt Kahn’s Soul Contracts, Twin Flames & Soul Mates Redefined.